I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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