i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
