Can Purell be used as lube?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
