Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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