hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize