she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
