At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
