I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
