Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
