you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
