i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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