Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
