Pregnant stripper...not hot.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
