I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Shame - the story of my life.
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