yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
