I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Randomize
