if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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