Don't make out with my wife yet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
