so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
