My nipple is on Facebook.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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