Who wears a wallet chain?!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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