I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's just like the Real World with babies
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
