I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
