If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
