Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
