Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
