Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
