I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
