So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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