how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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