idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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