wake up i wanna do it froggy style
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
