Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
