I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
