I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Are we still banned from the library?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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