I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
im six kinds of drunk right now
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
