Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
