Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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