marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
