Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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