The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
