she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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