i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
