If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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