Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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