im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
