Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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