There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
