No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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