I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
