i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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